Taming the Holiday Stress Monster

The holiday season is here and you are overjoyed at the idea of coming up with the perfect gift for your entire extended family, teachers, doctors, dentists, hairdressers, postman, lawn guy, doorman,  dreading the stress that comes with it, right? You love the idea of having to remember to move the Elf on the Shelf every single night so your kids can wake up to the magic of a stuffed Elf in a new position each morning.  And, then the money, geeze, the cost of keeping up with the Jones’, making sure your kids have just as much as the kids next door.  STRESS!

Holidays are hard and they can be incredibly stressful, if you let them.  Honestly, you may wonder if you have the ability to manage the holidays so that you too can enjoy them.

But think about this. Haven’t you faced the same situation on past holidays and now you share the stories, the pictures and memories you cherish?  Let’s digress a minute and let me ask you a couple additional questions.

Think about the biggest accomplishment that you have experienced in your life time.  Did you take a risk?  Was it stressful?  Did you manage the stress?  Did the experience give you the confidence to try other new and bigger events?  Everything that you have achieved had a certain amount of risk, uncertainty and yes, stress.

So, how do you like roller coaster rides?  Running your first half marathon? Taking a final exam or your licensing exam?  Watching a really scary movie? ACKWARD!!! Did you break out in a sweat?  Blood pressure rise? Butterflies in your stomach?  Did you feel a sense of accomplishment when it was done?  Some of us are adrenal junkies, we love to push the envelope- higher roller coaster, running longer races, — you get the idea.  Did you know that in the countries where people experienced the least stress are also the poorest countries?

Stress- unless it is a direct physical attack and we deploy the fight or flight response-is a mental process. We have the ability to think ourselves into a stress frenzy.  (and we have the ability to think our way out of the frenzy) If we survive a potential physical attack, we then start to think about what “almost happened” –It becomes a mental process.  We make stress a reality with our thoughts.  The research is very clear about the impact of our thoughts about stress.  People who experienced significant stressful events and thought that the stress was harmful to their health, had a 43% higher incidence of death over a 8 year period compared to those who thought that their bodies stress response prepared them to address the stressful situation.  Put another way, those who viewed stress as debilitating died earlier. In fact in the USA this amounts to almost 20,000 people a year who die because of their belief that stress is bad.

And what do the stress management gurus teach us:  “stress is the silent killer, it will kill you”     This is the wrong message, it is only partially true.

Holocaust survivors, wounded soldiers, critical accident survivors who went on to lead productive lives had the common characteristic:  They had a purpose and they used the energy from their stress response- the adrenalin, oxytocin, dopamine, DHEA, cortisol, and testosterone to provide them the drive, the energy, and the focus to achieve their purpose.  They succeeded by overcoming phenomenal problems to achieve their purpose.  (It is a given that professional help is required for traumatic physical and psychological events, but it is also noteworthy that there is a dramatic difference in the recovery of patients who ultimately have learned get better at embracing stress and using it.)

So, from a simplistic view:  when I lost a 400 meter race to our arch high school rival and he rubbed it in our team’s face, I had a significant stress response.  It went from the fight response (wanted to punch him out) to developing a strategy to beat him the next time we raced- I had a purpose. –  I sprinted, I ate properly, I lifted weights, worked out harder than ever, talked to our coach about strategy- I was not going to lose to that fool. Thinking about the next race and his ugly backside that I followed around the track prepared me to work harder and smarter. The day of the next race I was nervous, sweaty, heart pounding but confident that I could win and I did.  A significant event that I draw on when I need to remind myself that I can meet the challenge.

The lesson learned: when confronted with a stressful situation, define your purpose, make the decision to take the challenge needed to achieve your purpose and then manage the stress.  Knowing   your purpose makes the actions that you need to take clear and allows you to use the stress energy created to work towards your purpose. A defined purpose, understanding that the stress you feel is your body’s preparation so that you can take the large stress monster and tame it.   It is amazing the amount of stress that I can manage when I see progress towards my purpose.

My goal for the holidays is to have a decorated house, meaningful gifts from Santa, gatherings with family and friends, attending a Christmas Eve service and spending time enjoying my spouse and family. When the stress piles up because I cannot find the gifts, I have an obnoxious relative, or some other problem, I think about my purpose and I know I will have the energy, find a solution and  engage others to achieve my purpose.  It is a thinking strategy that works.

Below are a couple of helpful practical things that you may want to try in December:

1. Watch the Kelly McGonigal Ted talk on Stress HTTP://youtu.be/RcGyVTAoXEU
2. Keep a journal and list three things that you are thankful for each day.
3. Take a daily walk in the park if possible- even if you have to miss washing the dishes for a couple of hours.
4. Learn a couple of breathing exercises and know when to use it. Better yet, learn a simple meditation technique.
5. Think about how your stress response can actually be helpful
6. Don’t eat junk.
7. Plan a meeting with your friends.
8. Have a date with your spouse every week.
9. Take your vitamins and supplements: 

The following supplements are recommended in the literature as being beneficial in managing some of the stress side effects. We suggest the following Shaklee supplements to support your Stress management process. The product names are linked  to our site where you can purchase the products. The links in the right column  can be cut and pasted if the direct product name link do not work on your computer.  You can also call us at 832-385-5803 and we will help you order the products.

(if you choose to buy your supplements at the corner store make sure that they meet the Shaklee quality standards)

We have other ideas that will be on our Facebook Page in the coming days.  We will devote December to address the Holidays- there is some fun stuff coming.

Books that you may be of interested. Both can be found on Amazon

The Upside of Stress and How to get Good At It, Kelly McGonigal, Penguin Random House, 2015

The Mindful Way through Anxiety, Orsillo and Roemer, 2011

You may also want to watch a great TED talk with Kelly McGonigal about stress: HTTP://youtu.be/RcGyVTAoXEU

Enjoy, 

Pat and Jack Seitzinger

Pat@Seitzingergroup.com    Jack@seitzingergroup.com